


Order Up

by erensbootydestroysall



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Diners, Diners, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, carefree Eren, for like 2 seconds, lots of nonsense tbh, stick in the mud levi, theyre perfect for each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2019-02-04 05:43:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 16,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12764376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erensbootydestroysall/pseuds/erensbootydestroysall
Summary: Levi works at a miserable diner. To make matters worse, there's a certain green eyed customer who annoys the ever living shit out of him.(at least for now)





	1. shake machine broke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sooo this was going to be just a quick one shot but it somehow just stretched to be a multi chapter fic. I DIDNT ASK FOR THIS. Just a heads up: this fic...is just weird. I don't even know how it's going to come across to others but hey! That's why we're posting it here, right? The chapter lengths may be wonky (some might be short and some might be super long) but oh well...ok I'll stop now. I hope if anything, this fic gives you a laugh or a smile.

 

  He didn’t know how it started. He didn’t know why it’s continuing. All Levi knows is that every single day, five minutes before closing, the same sleazy looking young man would enter the diner and order a hamburger meal with fries. Sometimes, if Levi was really unlucky, the customer would order dessert too. 

 

Now normally, if a customer came in last minute ordering a full on meal, Levi would tell them to fuck off and find a Dennys. _That’s_ the diner you should be going to if you’re going to come in so late at night. Why anyone would want to come into M.P's daily, is beyond Levi. It's certainly not the fanciest restaurant in town, but it's pretty god damn cheap, which explains why the place gets any traction at all. It wasn't too bad however. The other employees here were decent. Minus his boss of course. Every time Levi felt compelled to curse a customer out, he’d feel his boss’s stare boring through the back of his head. Lately it's been extra tough, this daily customer of his drives Levi insane. He can almost hear his boss's annoying lecture now. 

 

_“We will always serve a customer, even if it’s one minute before closing!”_

 

As much as he wanted to tell Nile to shut his ass up, he sort of needed a job and he’s pretty sure he wouldn’t be getting paid if he voiced his true opinion. 

 

So as usual, Levi sucked in some air through his teeth and gritted through. The diner closes at 11 but by the time that kid is done with his meal, it’s11:30. Don’t even get him started on the cleanup process.

 

He checked his phone. 10:53. His eyes did a quick scan of the room. It’s completely empty and silent-music to his ears. He impatiently tapped his finger on the counter, filled with anticipation. He couldn't wait until he could hop into his car and leave. 

 

Even though he had just checked, Levi looked at the clock once more. He perked up when he saw that it said 10:56. Maybe that customer won’t come in after all!

As quickly as his spirits skyrocketed, they instantly crashed to the floor when he heard the entrance bell ring.  His eyes narrowed as he saw the same customer walk in, taking his usual spot at the bar stool.

 

“I’m back!” he cheerfully waved. “Were you worried that I wasn’t gonna come?”

 

“No, I was actually hoping that you’d never-

 

Nile cleared his throat loudly. Levi shot a look at him and Nile gestured to him to zip it and not let any crude remarks slip through his tongue.

 

He rolled his eyes. “What can I get for you?” he asked in a dead monotone voice.

 

The boy laughed. “You already know what I want! This isn’t my first time here you know.”

 

It took everything in Levi to not throw fists at the stupid boy right then and there. He let out a long exhale from his nose before speaking up again. “The hamburger and fries?” he asked, letting annoyance seek through his voice. 

 

The way too bubbly customer confirmed by nodding. Then he pondered aloud. “Hmm..maybe I should get a milkshake today?” 

 

_No, you shouldn’t._

 

“What do you think?” 

 

Levi saw the opportunity and took it. “Actually, our machine is broken.” 

 

Nile busted through, “Our machine works _fine_.” He whipped his head and squinted at Levi. He rolled his eyes. He couldn't care less. 

Nile returned his attention back to the customer. Unlike Levi, Nile had the ability to fake his shitty personality.  He also had “the customer is always right” mentality-which Levi personally thought was bullshit.

 

“So, you guys can make milkshakes then?” he heard the customer ask Nile.

 

Nile gave him that 100% genuinely fake smile. “Of course! Chocolate, right?”

 

His face lit up. “You remembered!”

 

Nile chuckled. “Well of course, you come in here every day! You’re one of the most valued customers we have here, er..” he trailed off, not knowing what to call him. 

 

“Eren.” He informed.

 

“Eren! Thank you for your business.”

 

Wonderful.  Now Levi had a name he could curse to hell. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not done with this fic yet, but I have a lot written down already so I think it can hold me over until then. My original plan was to finish the entire thing and then upload it all at once, but I got excited and couldn't wait any longer. (Loooooooserrrrrr) 
> 
> Thank you for reading and leaving kudos/comments! <3


	2. Butthurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Instantly adding another chapter because 1) first chapter was short af and 2) FUCK IT WHY NOT

One week later Levi found himself in the same spot as last week-waiting for closing time. Today’s shift felt different, since Nile was gone for a few days for some business meeting. The first thought that came to his head was that he was going to close the store early so Eren wouldn’t rear his ugly head in here. 

 

Unfortunately, it seems as if Nile was two steps ahead of him because he immediately told Levi that he would be watching through the security cameras and making sure that he would not close a minute early. 

Levi slouched over the counter, feeling all of the energy drained out of him. Maybe if he closed his eyes, the time would go by faster.

 

He could already feel himself slip into a state of drowsiness. This isn’t too bad, he thought. He was starting to feel relaxed.

 

A loud obnoxious bell jolted him out of his slumber. He didn’t even turn his head to see who it was. He kept his face buried in his arms and didn’t look up until he heard the familiar sound of someone plopping themselves on the stool. 

 

“Hi.” He greeted, far too joyful for Levi’s tastes. 

 

Levi growled in response.

 

“…right.” Eren nervously chuckled. “Um, I’d like a-“

 

“A hamburger and fries, is that it?” Levi cut him off. “You know, there’s tons of other places that sell that! Is it your goal to annoy the shit out of me?” he bitterly asked.

His sudden outburst caught Eren off guard. “Whoa, just take it easy man.” He raised his hands in a cautionary manner. 

 

Levi scoffed. “Take it easy, huh.” he shook his head. He couldn’t believe Eren right now. He slammed his hand on the counter, causing Eren to do a slight jump. “I would LOVE to just _’take it easy’_. If it were up to me, I’d be well on my way to home and I’d be able to enjoy a nice, quiet evening to myself. But instead, I get a certain little shit waltzing inside this place every single fucking day, five minutes before god damn closing time!”

 

The place went dead silent and for a second, he thought he had broken Eren. 

 

“Wow, I don’t think I ever heard you talk this much.” Eren said in bewilderment.

 

He narrowed his eyes at him. Did _anything_ he’d just say get through to him at all? 

 

Eren didn’t take the hint and continued talking. “Is your boss okay with you saying all of this?” 

 

Thinking about Nile automatically caused Levi to roll his eyes and tsk simultaneously. “Nile isn’t here to kiss your ass today.” 

 

“So..it’s just you today?” 

 

“Yes, so hurry up and order the same shit you always get.” Levi had to admit, it was nice letting Eren know how much he annoyed him. He finally got to let out all of that pent up frustration. 

 

“Uh o-okay. One hamburger and fries please.” He bashfully ordered. 

 

Not too long later Levi came out with Eren’s meal. He went to the other side of counter and began wiping it down. 

  

“Just so you know,” Eren spoke up, breaking the silence “It’s not like my goal is to come in here right before closing to piss you off.” 

 

“I don’t care what your intent is. You’re still pissing me off and ruining my night."  

 

Eren ate in silence after that. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Throughout this fic there are going to be random references sprinkled in here bc I'm dumb. (most of them are old vine references smhhh) 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	3. Gossip girls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo what up, my bladder is full, my eyes are barely open and I clearly don't title my chapters properly ((sorry))

Another day, another excruciatingly long and painful shift. It's not over yet, Levi reminded himself. There's still one pesky customer left. Levi placed a bun on top of a burger and slapped it onto a plate with fries. When Eren came through like clockwork, Levi sat the plate down at his usual spot and snapped at him. 

“Here. Sit down.” He commanded with a firm voice.

“Uh, okay..” Eren sat down. “Hey, you already have my meal made! You know me so well!” he gave him a huge smile.

“Shut up. I don’t want to hear you.” 

Eren frowned. “What’s wrong? Everything okay?” 

“No. It’s just been a shit day today.” He took a deep breath and stared at Eren. Levi bets that the boy just wants to eat his meal in silence, not listen to a grump like him ramble on about his mundane day. “Forget it.” He dismissed him.

“No, tell me.” Eren insisted.

Levi looked at him. He seemed to be genuinely interested. Well, he supposes it could be nice to let off some steam and rant about his day.

“Okay, so it all started with this bitch…”

***

“And then, guess what happened next?!” Levi said, getting way too into his rant.

“What?” Eren asked, long done with his food but too invested in Levi’s story to care.

“Her baby. Fucking. Vomits.” 

Eren’s jaw dropped. “No!”

Levi sighed. “Yes. Thank fuck none of that got onto me but still, I had the worst time trying to clean that shit up. Do you know how hard it is to get vomit out of a carpet?”

Eren scrunched up his face, grossed out thinking about it. “Ugh, is that why it kind of smelled funky when I first got in here?” 

Levi shrugged. “I’ve been in here too long, I can’t even tell if the scent is still here or not.”

Eren laughed. It somehow made Levi felt better. Huh. Maybe expressing your feelings _does_ work! How weird..

Eren looked at his phone and did a double take when he saw the time. “It’s midnight?! Why didn’t you kick me out earlier!”

Levi checked the clock. He was surprised too when he realized how late it had gotten. “I guess I was too riled up to even notice..” 

Eren got his stuff and began to get up from his seat. “Well, I won’t keep you a hostage any longer. See you tomorrow Levi!” he waved.

Levi flashed him a wave. “See you..Eren.” he spoke his name out loud for the first time. 

He was actually looking forward to seeing his stupid face again.

 ***

Having Nile being absent for a business trip helped Levi realize two things. One: Levi was a much better fit to be the manager and two: talking to Eren felt so good. 

 

With Nile out of the picture, it was so easy to show Eren his true colors and not hide it through a fake customer service smile. 

 

It was weird. In the beginning it was nothing more but a one sided conversation. Levi would rant his little heart out and Eren would whole heartedly listen to him, occasionally giving in his two cents here and there. Somehow, over the course of the past few days, there had been a shift. Now whenever Eren came in, they would just talk about each other’s days like how friends normally do. He never thought that he’d enjoy talking to a customer. Let alone, that customer being Eren. It was rather therapeutic telling him about his day though..

 

Speaking of which, he had a lot to tell Eren today. Three employees called out sick today so they were understaffed. To make matters worse, they were extremely busy today too. Though, all of that Levi could forgive. His main problem was a particular asshole customer who had the nerve to complain about the hygiene in M.P. When the man began to lecture Levi on cleanliness and basic proper hygiene he wanted to laugh. Instead, he decided to show the man his _collection_ of bleach and other cleaning supplies and described each and every single product with immense amount of detail. The man got weirded out and left. Served him right. No one comes up to Levi fucking Ackerman teaching him about cleaning. He makes cleaning his bitch. 

  

Thinking about it got Levi riled up again and just in time, Eren walked in. 

 

"Finally. Sit your ass down, I've got so much shit to tell you." 

 

Eren laughed at the sudden welcome he was shown but gladly took a seat. "Let me guess, Helen came back?"  

 

Ugh, fucking Helen. On the surface she was a sweet old lady but Levi was all too familiar with her rotten personality. Eren was annoying, sure. But Helen? Helen was a straight up bitch. She would always have something to complain about. She even made a complaint about her glass of water having too much ice one time. 

 

"Don't even get me started on that dusty ass hooker." Levi began, already exhausted from hearing her name. "I hate customers so much." He buried his face in his hands. 

 

He heard Eren let out a soft whine. "Aww, even me?" 

 

Levi peeked at Eren through his fingers while wearing a grumpy expression. "Especially you." 

 

He found it amusing seeing how offended Eren became. "Nuh-uh! I'm you're favorite! You always tell me about your day!” He boasted. 

 

Levi groaned. "Fine whatever. You're not the _worst_ customer anymore. That doesn't mean you’re my favorite though." 

 

"Hey, I'll take it. I'll also take a-" 

 

"Yeah yeah, don't even bother." Levi cut him off, already getting started on Eren's usual order. 

Levi continued their new habit and began telling Eren about his day. He always enjoyed seeing Eren’s reactions. Unlike Levi, Eren was very good at showing expressions. He’d gasp when he heard something shocking, he would laugh very loudly when Levi makes a joke, he’d give a sympathetic hum whenever Levi felt down in the dumps. Levi wished that he could talk to Eren longer but at the same time he didn’t want to stay stuck inside this diner for any longer.

“I should get ready to close up the store...” Levi forced out. He didn’t really want to leave Eren’s side. 

“Hey, what do you do after work anyways?” Eren asked him. 

“Nothing. I just go home.” Levi answered. He didn’t like how sad that answer sounded. 

“Oh..” Eren said. He looked as if he were debating something. He opened his mouth to say something but then shut it.

“What?” Levi asked, noticing Eren’s obvious hesitant behavior. 

“It’s nothing.” He sounded dispirited.

“Well..what are you doing after this?” Levi couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth right now. Where was he going with this?

“I’m also doing nothing.” Eren said, secretly hoping for Levi to lead this conversation in the right direction. 

“Do you want to..” he paused, not sure on how to phrase his words exactly “I don’t know, do something?” He braced himself for cold hard rejection. He didn’t know why but he didn’t like the thought of Eren doing that to him.

He perked up and his eyes began to shine. “Yeah! Together??”

Levi was taken aback at his sudden outburst. “Uh, sure? If you want.”

Eren nodded furiously. “Yes! I’d love to!!” he had huge smile on his face.

He told Eren to wait for him while he finished up cleaning the store. He found himself working at faster pace than usual. When he finally finished, Levi took off his apron and put on his regular black jacket on. He locked the store and turned to Eren.

 “Let’s go.”

***

They ended up deciding to go to some nearby bar in town. Eren didn’t have a car and Levi didn’t feel like driving so they settled for walking there. The two walked side by side in silence but Levi couldn’t help but notice Eren’s obvious discomfort with the weather.

“Don’t you have a jacket?” He chastised.

“I do, I just didn’t think I would need one.” Eren chattered through his teeth while hugging himself for warmth. 

Levi sighed, taking off his jacket. “You’re hopeless.” He shoved the article of clothing to Eren. “Take it, you need it more than I do.”

Eren hesitantly reached his hand out. “Are you sure?”

Levi rolled his eyes. “Yes. Take it before I change my mind.”

Eren quickly grabbed it and put the jacket on. He let out a small chuckle when he saw how it fit him. “Thank you. It’s a bit tight but I guess that’s because of-”

Levi gave him a stone cold death stare. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” He threatened. He didn’t like it when people mentioned his short stature.

Eren laughed. “No it’s cute. I kind of want to see how you’ll fit into my hoodies now. I bet it would look adorable.”

Levi continued glaring.

“Sorry! I meant, I bet you’ll look so fucking badass in my large, baggy hoodie. I’ll have to bring it next time to see if I’m right.”

Levi shook his head at Eren. He was an idiot.

An idiot who made him blush in this cold dark night.

   
 


	4. so honey ZIP your LIIIIIPS~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the -plot- begins. AND I USE THAT WORD 
> 
> SO 
> 
> SO 
> 
>  
> 
> lightly

It's only been a few days but Levi was already getting used to running the place around without Nile breathing on his neck every damn second. Shit, he could probably do that man's job better with his eyes closed. 

That being said, business was a little slow today. Guess not everyone has plans to visit a shitty local diner on a Wednesday night. Levi went to do a quick wipe down on all the tables, trying to kill some time. After all, he had only one more hour until closing. 

 

The door bursted open and a customer walked inside. 

 

"Hello, welcome t- oh it's just you." Levi dropped the act when he realized that it was only Eren and not an actual customer. 

 

"Hey! I'm a valued customer here!" Eren protested. 

 

Levi walked behind the counter as Eren sat down. "You're here earlier than usual." He noted. 

 

"Yeah.." Eren sulked in his seat, sounding disheartened.

 

"What?" Levi asked, noticing his different behavior today. 

 

"Huh?" Eren looked up, "Oh no, it's nothing." 

 

Levi shrugged. "If you say so." 

 

"OKAY FINE I'll tell you what happened." Eren confessed dramatically. 

 

Levi perked an eyebrow up while Eren began his story. 

 

"Okay, so I go to college, right?" 

 

"Shocker." 

 

"Shut up. Anyways, so I have a bunch of friends there and we get along great and all but sometimes, we all get a bit too competitive and we all started arguing about something stupid and long story short, I kinda told them that I know a guy who owns this place." 

 

Levi pointed to himself. "You mean me?" 

 

Eren nodded with a grimace on his face. 

 

"Alright. I can act like I'm the owner for a day." 

 

"They also want to come in and see the place for themselves." He added. 

 

"That's fine. More business for me." 

 

Eren still looked uncomfortable. "I also uh...told them that I was...datingtheowner." He jumbled his words together in a single sentence. 

 

"You were what?" Levi asked, not catching that last part.

 

"I told them I was dating you!!" Eren yelled. His outburst resulted in a few random customers turning their heads to Eren and Levi. They quickly went back to minding their own business. 

 

"Why would you say something like that?" Levi asked, annoyed now.

   
 

"I don't know!" Eren wailed. "Things went out of hand and before I knew it, all sorts of bullshit was spewing out of my mouth!" He grabbed his hair while letting out a troubled sigh. 

   
 

"What _else_ did you tell them?" Levi fixed a stern glare at Eren. 

 

"Nothing!" 

 

Levi glared at him, knowing he was lying through his teeth. 

 

"Okay fine! I told them we would close the restaurant down for a day and host them a private party!" 

 

Eren hid his face in his hands while letting out a long whine. 

 

Levi felt a headache coming on. He rubbed his temples. "Jesus Christ Eren, is there anything else you told them? That this isn't actually a diner but rather a 5 star fucking restaurant?"

   
 

"No! I didn't say that. They know it's a diner." 

 

Levi let out a long sigh. "And what happens if I don't help you out?" 

 

"Then I'll be teased and ridiculed for the rest of my life!" 

 

"That doesn't sound like my problem." 

 

"Fine, then I won't come in here anymore." 

 

Levi barked out a laugh. "Good! I get to leave on time for once."

 

“No!! Please Levi I’m begging you!” Eren grasped onto Levi’s dirty apron and tugged at it.

 

Levi gently pushed Eren off with a slight look of disgust on his face. He hated when people touched him. “Mmm, sorry. I just don’t see what’s in it for me.” He stated nonchalantly. Did he feel bad that he’s basically fucking Eren over by not going along with his preposterous plan? Maybe a little. Did he feel bad enough in order to _do_ something about it? No. 

Realizing that he lost the battle, Eren lowered himself in his seat looking defeated. 

 

“Look kid, I know you probably hate me right now but you have to take responsibility of your actions. I suggest going back to your friends and owning up about the lie and let bygones be bygones.” 

 

Eren perked up as if he had a light bulb go off on top of his head. “Of course! Why didn’t I think of it before?” 

 

Levi felt a small sense of pride knowing his advice came through to him. “Exactly, it’s not so hard when you handle your problems like an adult.”

 

“No, not that. Your idea is horrible. It’s practically social suicide.” He ridiculed Levi’s advice.

 

Levi frowned. “Excuse me?”

 

“If you help me with my plan, then I’ll never come in here to bother you again.”

 

“Yeah right.” Levi rolled his eyes. This boy couldn’t avoid this place even if he wanted to. 

 

“I’m serious. I won’t come in last minute and order a huge meal, I won’t keep you in longer than you should be, none of that.” He kept firm eye contact with Levi to let him know that this is the real deal.

 

Levi thought about it. While Eren has been a bit better to handle these last few days, the thought of him not coming in here anymore _did_ sort of sound nice. He’d actually close on time for once and not deal with his shenanigans.

 

Levi let out a heavy sigh. "Fine. I'll do it." 

   
 

"Wha- really?!"

 

"Yeah. Why not." He grumbled. What is he getting himself into?

 

Eren's smile grew wide and his eyes had a sparkle in them. He failed at hiding his high pitched squeal. "Thank you Levi! Thank you thank you thank you!!!"

   
 

"Shut up. The more you talk about it the more I'm inclined to say no." He really didn't know why he was doing this.

   
 

Eren gladly mimicked the action of zipping his mouth shut and locking it with a key. He then took ahold of Levi's hand and placed the imaginary key in his hand.

   
 

Levi looked down at their clasped hands. They're touching. They're holding hands. Is this...normal?

   
 

Realizing the error of his ways, Eren quickly retracted his hands with a slight blush.

   
 

"Sorry." He sheepishly apologized.

   
 

He didn't know what to say back and went back to his work.

   
 

His hand strangely felt empty. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're enjoying the fic so far, please let me know! Even a simple "nice" will make my day. ((Hell even a kudos)) thank you so much for reading! :)


	5. Fine Dining and Breathing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally done with this fic! So I'm just gonna dump the rest of the chapters rn soooo ya!!

 

Levi should have thought this through better. He didn't bother asking Eren any crucial details about the plan. He didn't even have his number to ask him when everything was going to go down. Because of that, he's been left feeling anxious and jumpy the entire day. 

And another thing, how were they going to convince Eren's friends- who all probably know him very well-that they were in a relationship? He knew nothing about Eren-not even his age! 

   

He's just glad that Nile is still out on his business trip. If he were here, Levi wouldn't be able to help Eren out.

   
 

Levi shook his head. Wait, no. Since when was helping Eren out an important priority?

   
 

The store phone began to ring, breaking Levi's day dreaming. He picked it up without even looking to see who it was.

   
 

"M.P's diner what do ya want?" He answered unenthusiastically.

   
 

"Is _that_ how you answer the phone?" Shit, it was Nile. He continued. "You know Levi, I don't pay you to sound like you're constipated. Would it kill you to sound a little more...alive?" 

   
 

"No but listening to you for any longer might." He retorted.

   
 

"Well don't worry, I'm gonna hang up right now. I just called to let you know that the meeting wrapped up earlier than I thought and I'll be back tonight."

   
 

"T-tonight?" Levi choked out. 

 

"Yes, I'll be back around 7 and I'll take over your shift. You've been working hard the past few days and deserve a break."

   
 

This is the _last_ thing he needed right now. "Oh it's fine, I can handle it. You should just go home and relax. After all, you did just come back from a trip."

   
 

"Nah." Nile rejected Levi. "Believe it or not, those CEO guys were a pain in the ass to talk with. I'd rather get my mind off things by coming in the diner and see how things are doing. Besides, I miss M.P, she's practically my baby."

   
 

Shit. Think of something- _anything_ to stop him. "Nile!" He blurted out.

   
 

"What?"

   
 

"You can't come in here." He confessed. 

 

"And why is that?" 

 

"Because..." Holy shit does he suck at lying or what? "Because...I clogged the toilet!" 

   
 

He wanted to smack himself so hard right now. Why does his mind always instinctively go to poop related things??

 

"Okay.." Nile said slowly. "That's a bit gross but nothing a heavy duty plunger can't handle."

   
 

"No, that's not it!"

   
 

"Yes? Right now? Alright. Tell him I'll be there." Nile answered. "Listen Levi, I gotta go. Try to keep M.P in one piece by the time I'm back."

   
 

He hung up before Levi could even say another word. He leaned his back against the counter and slumped all the way down to the floor. He let out a distressed sigh and rubbed his face.

   
 

Great, now he had to cancel the plan with Eren and-

 

Wait. 

   
 

No.

 

This could actually be a _good_ thing. Eren comes to the store as usual, Levi breaks the bad news about Nile and tells him that they can't go through with their original plan. Easy.

   
 

He promised to help the guy but that was when there was no Nile. It's simply out of his hands now. Levi felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

   
 

His moment of peace was shortly lived because Eren came barging in. He made his way up to the counter and leaned on it for support.

   
 

"Are you...panting?" Levi greeted him. 

   
 

"I...ran...here..." Eren said between breaths.

   
 

"I can tell." Levi eyed the exhausted boy. 

   
 

Eren finally caught his breath and composed himself. "I have bad news."

 

_Well, that never sounds good._

 

“What?” Levi asked, bracing himself for the worst.

 

“My friends are coming tonight.” He blurted out.

 

Levi groaned. Just like that, the weight that had been lifted off his shoulders fell atop of him again.

 

“I have worse news.” 

 

“W-what?” Eren asked, looking nervous.

 

“My shit boss is coming back tonight.” 

 

He saw the light leave Eren's eyes, which made Levi want to laugh but instead it only caused him to feel a twinge of guilt.. 

 

“No! He can’t do that!”

 

“It’s his store. He kinda can do whatever he wants.” Levi shrugged. “Sorry kid, I tried my best. Guess it wasn’t meant to be.”

 

“No, you don’t understand. I already told everyone the location and they’re all planning to come here, expecting to see me with a boyfriend who owns a diner! What am I supposed to tell them now?!” Eren spoke frantically.

 

“Maybe tell them that you were lying the entire time and realize that there’s nothing wrong with being yourself?” It seemed pretty reasonable to Levi. 

 

“Fuck. That.” Eren spat out. 

 

Well shit, okay then. What does he know about anything? 

 

“No.” Eren began. “What we have to do, is stall Nile.” He looked at Levi with a mischievous glint in his eye. 

 

Levi looked at him like he’d lost his mind. “You’re joking.”

 

Eren let out a hearty chuckle. “Oh but I’m not. Think about it. We stall Nile, I successfully fool all of my friends, and you get-“

 

“A bunch of unnecessary stress and extra headaches, I know.” He cut the boy off. 

 

“I was going to say a fun time with me and the boys but sure that works too.” Eren dismissed him. “Now, about the stalling…” Eren tapped his finger on his chin and thought hard on how to go through with the idea. 

 

Levi forced himself to think. Who is the absolute worst person to be with at an airport? 

 

“Hanji.” 

 

Eren perked up. “Who’s that?” 

 

“Just a psycho who owes me some favors.” Levi explained nonchalantly while dialing her number. 

 

While the phone was ringing, Eren was attacking Levi with questions about Hanji. 

 

“Who’s Hanji? Why are they a psycho? Are you two friends? How’d you meet?” 

 

Levi put a hand up in front of Eren's face, signaling for him to stop. “She’s just this crazy ass bitch that I know.”

 

“Cool!” Eren said, somehow being amazed by that boring answer. “What is she going to do to stall Nile?” he asked with curiosity. 

 

“Well..” Levi trailed off. “A better question would be what _wouldn’t_ she do.” Actually, the more Levi thought about it, the more Levi realized what a bad idea this was. 

 

“Hello?” The woman answered. 

 

What was he thinking! Hanji? At an airport? No no no. TSA would be on her ass immediately. 

 

He heard her gasp through the phone. "Levi?! Is it really you?" He waited for her to continue. "YES!! It is! You never call me! Are we finally going to go on that canoeing trip?!" 

 

He hung up. 

 

“Hey! Why’d you do that?” Eren protested. 

 

Sending Hanji on an important mission all by herself? Levi snorted. Yeah, right. He might as well hire a monkey. 

 

“Change of plans. I’m calling someone more responsible…and sane.” He tacked on that last part. 

 

The phone picked up after the first ring. "Hello?" A smooth voice came out.

 

"Erwin." Levi let out a sigh of relief. "Listen, I need your help."

   
 

"With what?" He questioned with concern.

 

Now here comes the hard part. "I can't explain it all right now but, I need you and Hanji to go to the airport to stall Nile. Make sure he doesn't come to M.P no matter what." He said sternly.

   
 

"Me? Hanji? The airport? I- are you- _why?_ "

 

"Because," Levi began, "Sending Hanji alone is like a suicide mission and I need you to babysit her so she won't break any laws on my behalf-"

 

"No, I mean..just _why?_ " 

 

"I don't have time to explain, just do this one favor for me?" Levi begged.

 

There was a pregnant pause while Levi desperately waited for his answer. He heard Erwin sigh before answering again. "Fine. But you better explain to me in full detail about this the next time we meet up. 

 

"You have no idea how much you're saving my ass right now." Levi thanked his friend. "I'll text you and Hanji the details of Nile's flight."

 

They said their goodbyes and Levi reminded himself to buy Erwin something extra nice for his birthday.

Now, onto his next problem...

 

He looked at Eren. "You." He snapped his fingers at him. "Make a sign saying that we're going to be closed for a private party and put it on the door." 

 

Eren eagerly saluted him. "Yes captain!" 

Levi took a deep breath, thinking about what he should do next. He noticed that the place was quite empty right now. There were a few people still enjoying their food but judging from their empty plates and full stomachs, they looked like they were about to leave. He'll let them be for now. 

 

The part that he really didn't want to think about was serving all of Eren's stupid friends. Speaking of which..

 

"Hey Eren," Levi called out. "How many friends do you have again?" 

 

"Just eleven." He answered back.

 

Okay, that's not too bad. Gives him an idea on how much to prepare but _damn, he has eleven friends?_ He barely has two. Then again, he isn't the most sociable person out there. Eren probably gets along with everyone, who wouldn't want to be his friend? He's a nice guy and he isn't even that bad looking. He wondered about how many girls have crushed on him. Or guys for that matter. He likes boys right? He must, since he told his friends that he has a "boyfriend".

 

"Watcha thinking about?" 

 

"You." He said in a daze.

 

"What?" Eren asked. 

 

Shit, why did he say that? He wasn't thinking. 

 

"Poo." Levi blurted out. "I was thinking about the...clogged toilet in our restroom." he said, returning to his previous lie.

"Um okay.." Eren said. "Anyways, are you able to handle everything all on your own?" 

 

"No." he simply stated. "Give me a sec." 

 

He went through the back door and found the person he was looking for. Mike was squatting down, smoking a cigarette between his fingers while staring out into the warm, radiant sky.

 

"You smell stressed." He greeted him. 

 

Him and his damn dog nose.

 

"That's because I am." He responded. 

 

Levi liked Mike. He was the ideal employee to work with. Quiet, does what he's supposed to do, doesn't start up shit. He also had been working here longer than anyone else and knows what he's doing. He's the exact kind of help Levi needed right now. 

 

"I know your shift is only till 6 but, could you please stay here with me and help me host this private event?"

 

"We don't host private events." He said, still staring ahead at nothing. 

 

"We do now." Levi said. "Fucking Eren." He whispered under his breath.

 

Mike chuckled. "Eren, huh? That's a funny guy for sure. Has an interesting scent." He smiled while taking another draw from his cigarette. 

 

He didn't bother asking. "So, will you stay?" He asked. He's been doing a lot of pleading lately.

 

"I guess. But not without a cost though." 

 

"What do you want?" He asked, ready to bribe his way through this if he had to.

"I'm not sure yet. Don't worry; I'll let you know when I find out." 

 

Mike offered him a cigarette and he gladly took it.

Levi slouched against the wall and took a much needed puff of smoke. 

At least he wasn’t Erwin right now.


	6. The Adventures of Erwin and Hanji part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains only Erwin and Hanji and their crazy antics at the airport. It's pretty short but I really had fun writing about these two.

Erwin regretted signing up for this. He was in a packed airport filled with tired travelers who just wanted to reach their destination. He sat down on an empty seat to take a breather. Nile's plane doesn't arrive for another hour but he didn't want to take any chances with missing him getting off his flight.

Suddenly, a grown, hyperactive woman came running toward his direction. 

"Erwinnn! Erwin, Erwin, Erwin!!" Hanji pleaded, holding a bag of family sized skittles in her arms. "Can I pleaseeee buy this?" 

Erwin let out a distressed sigh. "Hanji you're an adult. You don't have to ask me, I'm not your dad."

She perked up slightly. "So, that means I can buy it?" She asked, hoping for him to say yes. 

"Just do whatever you want." He pinched the bridge of his nose. 

She jumped up and down with joy. "Thank you!! This is the best airport trip ever!" She squealed out and ran back to the store to purchase the candy. 

 

He basked in the silence and used this golden moment to close his eyes and get some rest. He got a solid three minutes of relaxation until he felt Hanji's presence again. He grudgingly opened his eyes and found her in the seat right next to him. She was happily munching away at the skittles and throwing handfuls of it into her mouth. 

"Want some?" She offered, shoving the bag towards him. 

Erwin warily eyed the bag. "I don't know. Are they packed with calories?" 

Hanji scoffed. "Erwin, they're skittles. Of course they are!" 

He politely declined her offer. "I'd rather not. I should be looking after my weight and I don’t put that kind of stuff inside my body." 

She rolled her eyes and shoved her hand in the bag. She took her hand out and her palm was filled with skittles. She moved it towards his closed mouth. "It'll be more fun if you chug them all down at once!"

Erwin tried moving away from the candy. "I don't think that's the correct serving size."

 

"Don't be such a wuss! Here, just try it!" She shoved the candy into his mouth and after a bit of struggling, she was able to force the skittles down his throat.

 

Erwin eyed her evilly while he chewed the snack slowly. Hanji was watching him, eager to see his reaction.

 

By the time he swallowed, he realized that it wasn't that bad. 

 

Hanji felt elated when she saw a smile appear on Erwin's face. "See? I told you it was fun!" 

 

Erwin chuckled. Perhaps the time would pass by much faster with Hanji.


	7. Cracking a cold one with the BOIZ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is one of my fav chapters that I've written in this fic. It's full of one liners that love. (That are also spongebob/vine references) I hope at least one person out there gets them lmao.

Levi put his hands on his hips and let out a breath. He took a moment to admire the hard work he and Mike had accomplished. It took a lot of grit, sweat, and hard work to prepare a buffet for a group of eleven hungry teens but they somehow did it. Everything was placed properly onto a table and the store was empty. Now all they had to do was wait for Eren’s friends to arrive, which should be any second now. 

 

Eren walked up to him. “So uh, about our fake relationship…” 

 

Crap. He was so focused on preparing the diner and the food that the fact that he was supposed to be Eren’s boyfriend flew completely over his head. 

 

He began to worry. What’s the point in doing all this work if they can’t even convince his friends that he and Eren were in a relationship? “What are we gonna do?” he asked Eren. “We only have fifteen minutes to learn every single intimate detail about each other!”

 

“Don’t worry!” Eren put his hands on Levi’s shoulders in an attempt to comfort him. “I have a plan.” 

 

Hearing those string of words calmed Levi down. “Okay. What’s your plan?” 

 

“My plan is to just wing it.” 

 

Levi pushed Eren off of him. “Eren, are you fucking serious right now?”

 

“No babe! Don’t worry, it’ll be fine I promise.” 

 

He squinted his eyes and slowly turned his head to stare at Eren right in the eye. “Did you just call me ‘babe’?” he asked in an offended tone.

 

He sheepishly laughed while rubbing his head. “I figured we better start acting like a couple now before everyone arrives.” 

 

That idea was so preposterous and hearing Eren call him babe was just so stupid. Levi crossed his arms and frowned.

 

Eren put his arm around him and tried to get Levi to look his way. “See babe? We’re already having our first couples fight!” 

 

Ugh! There goes that weird feeling again. “Stop calling me babe!”

 

“Alright then. Is honey ok?”

 

He turned his face again. He didn’t want Eren to see whatever expression he was making right now.

 

“Hey come on! Let me see your face!” he said playfully. “How about sweetie? Pumpkin? Cupcake? Chocolate Vanilla swirl with cookie crunch?”

 

He faced towards Eren and it took everything in him to not look away. “Just..Levi is fine.” He could feel the redness seeping into his face.

 

Eren stared him softly. “Ok..Levi.” he said his name in an utterly sick and sweetening tone. It made Levi want to vomit.

 

“Red is a cute color on you.” He teased. 

 

Fuck this. If he was going to suffer like this then Eren will too, damn it.

 

He tugged on Eren’s collar and brought his face an inch apart from his own. Eren gulped at their sudden closeness.

 

Levi let out a dark chuckle and lightly patted the flustered boy’s cheek. “Looks like red suits your face too.” 

 

He smiled when he saw Eren get even redder after hearing his ludicrous comment. 

 

The two stood there for a moment, staring but not saying a word. Eren was quite the looker when he wasn’t babbling utter nonsense.

 

“Do you smell that?” Mike’s eerie voice slithered into Levi’s ear.

 

Levi jumped at the sudden intrusion. “Jesus Mike, we gotta put a bell on you.”

 

“I smell a smell..” he said in an ominous tone. 

 

“It’s not me! I put deodorant on today, I promise.” Eren blurted out.

 

Levi shot him a nasty look. “Tch, disgusting. You’re supposed to wear it every single day.”

He shrugged. “I’m a college student. It’s a miracle if I’m out of bed by 12 and have a clean shirt on with no pizza stains.”

 

He looked repulsed by Eren’s comment. “I’m going to need to clean your entire laundry with bleach and detergent.” 

 

“Is that a date?” he wiggled his eyebrows at him. Levi flicked his forehead in response.

 

“No, this is different smell. A smell so distinct, so vulgar, that nothing could ever come close to compare.” Mike spoke again.

 

“I think I saw a skunk when I was walking down here.” Eren recalled.

 

“Maybe it’s the garbage out in the back?” Levi suggested.

 

“No, no. It’s none of those things.” He kept sniffing the air, trying to figure out what the mysterious scent was. He sniffed so hard, as if he were a coke addict. 

 

Eren and Levi shared a look with each other, both confused about the current situation going on. All of a sudden, Mike’s eyes shot wide open. He looked traumatized.

 

“Teenagers.” He said barely above a whisper.

 

“Uh, what?” Levi asked.

 

“TEENAGERS!!” he yelled at the top of his lungs.

 

Before they could even interpret his response, the front door opened and a group of, you guessed it, teenagers came waltzing into the diner.

 

“AY YO WHERE THE 12 STACKED PANCAKES AT?!”

 

Eren immediately adapted to the situation and shot both of his arms up in the air, yelling a bunch of nonsense. He walked over to the group and they all started greeting each other with high fives, noogies, and obnoxiously yelling “ayyyyy” to each other.

Levi and Mike stood in the back, watching the chaos unfold in front of  them. Levi suddenly remembered why he hated teens and why he preferred to spend his weekends alone in his apartment. It hasn’t even been five minutes and he’s already feeling a headache coming on. He wanted to go home.

 

“Well uh, if you need me I’m going to be in the back…” Mike started slowly.

 

Levi faced him and grabbed his wrist. “What? No! You can’t just leave me here with them!”

 

“I’m not! It’s just..the kitchen needs to be cleaned!” he said, trying to come up with an excuse.

 

Levi narrowed his eyes at Mike’s lie. “I cleaned it already. It’s spotless.”

 

Mike’s eyes nervously shifted from side to side. “Oh hey!” he said, pointing to across the room. “Is that Eren and his friends messing with your favorite gallon of bleach?”

 

“Clorox bleach?!” Levi whipped his head towards the counter.

 

“They’re not even near the cleaning cabinet.” Levi turned back to Mike, only to realize that he was gone.

 

“Damn it, not again.” He muttered under his breath.

 

“Hey, where’s that imaginary boyfriend you were telling us about?” Levi heard one of Eren’s friend say.

 

“He’s real!” Eren interjected. “He has black silky hair, a sick bod, and-”

 

“And he has the height of a fucking child!” One of the other guys yelled out, pointing to Levi.

 

Everyone turned their heads at the corner where Levi was standing. He was on the spot and didn’t like the idea of a bunch of shitty little kids judging him. He was not going to get ridiculed by some smartass teen. 

 

“Yeah, but at least I don’t look like you, you high-hoofed, plant eating, domesticated equestrian fuck.” He spat out with vigor.

 

The entire place went so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. The silence was immediately replaced by loud cheers from the group and he heard a few of them say something along the lines of “You got wrecked  Jean!”

 

The horse-face, Jean, looked embarrassed and quietly told his friends to shut up. Levi looked smug. Served him right for acting like a jackass.

 

“That’s my man!” Eren boasted while putting an arm around Levi. “Everyone, I’d like you to meet Levi. Levi, these are my friends.” He introduced the two to each other.

 

The first person to spring into action was short bald headed boy. Levi eyed him up and down. A smile unwillingly crept onto his face when he realized that he was taller than him.

 

“Heya! I’m Connie, Eren’s best looking friend.”

 

Levi awkwardly put his hand up and muttered out a hello. Luckily, Connie didn’t care about handshakes. He continued. “So, Eren has said a lot of things about you.”

 

“Oh really?” he mused while giving Eren a look. “What did he say exactly?” 

 

 “Just that you own this restaurant.” He shrugged.

 

“Yeah but he didn’t mention how great the food is!” A girl spoke with her mouth full. Levi cringed seeing her chewed up food. She carried a full plate in each of her hands and there were crumbs all around her mouth.

 

“Ugh Sasha, leave some for the rest of us!” Connie complained.

 

Sasha let out a nervous laugh. “Sorry, the food is just so delicious. Especially these pancakes!”

 

Levi clearly saw a large chunk of food fly out of her mouth when she said the word “pancakes”. Most of it landed on the floor, but Levi felt a bit of wet food land on his arm. His eye immediately began to twitch.

 

Eren noticed the scene unravel in front of him and took Levi aside. He grasped onto his shoulders and gave him a concerned look.

 

“Are you okay? Do- do you need a napkin or something?”

 

Levi stared off into the distance. “Take me to the bathroom. Now.” He sounded calm on the outside but there was a storm brewing inside of him. 

 

“Of course!” Eren jumped up to the occasion and the two went inside the employee’s restroom.

Levi vigorously scrubbed his arms with soap and water. He scrubbed and scrubbed until his arms turned red.

“Levi! That’s enough!” Eren grabbed Levi’s hands to pull them away from the sink. “I’m pretty sure you killed every single bacteria off your arm.”

 

Eren still held him by the wrists and he looked at himself. His skin felt hot from all that scratching and he left himself some red marks.

 

Feeling embarrassed that he let Eren see him like this, Levi removed himself from Eren’s grasp and went to dry his hands. He avoided looking at Eren. “Whatever. Can we just..pretend this never happened?”

 

“It’s fine. You’re fine Levi.” Eren clasped Levi’s hands into his. “I’ll make sure that no one else’s spit will land on you..or any other bodily fluids for that matter.” He weirdly reassured him.

 

It was nice that Eren was trying to cheer him up in his own strange way but, why was Levi more focused on how warm he felt when he was holding his hand? Not to mention the fact that he didn’t feel gross whenever Eren makes physical contact with him.

 

“Uh, Levi?” Eren’s voice came ringing in.

 

“Huh?”

 

Eren laughed at his stunned expression. “Nothing, I was just saying if you want to head back?”

 

“Oh. Sure.” 

 

Levi didn’t let go of Eren’s hand and Eren didn’t let go either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know your thoughts! Comments and kudos are VERY much appreciated :)


	8. The Adventures of Erwin and Hanji part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Erwin and Hanji! If these two aren't your thing (which...is such a crazy thought) then don't worry bc the chapter is pretty short. I hope you enjoy anyways!

 

"Hanji," Erwin began. "Shouldn't we wait by Nile's gate? We don't want to miss him!" He warned as he tried to keep up with the crazy woman's pace.

   
 

"We have plenty of time left!" She waved him off. "We have to check out all the cheap souvenirs this place has."

 

Erwin sighed. When Hanji proposed they should walk around and move their legs a bit, he thought she meant something normal like checking out the random stores and stretch their legs. Not entering every single store and analyzing each and every product inside.

   
 

"Aww, Erwin look!" Hanji held a snow globe in her hands. She shook it a little bit and the two watched the fake snow gently fall down. Erwin noted how happy and joyful Hanji looked with the globe.

   
 

"Do you want me to buy it for you?" He asked her. 

   
 

She seemed taken aback. "Hm? No, that's okay." She smiled.

   
 

He watched her as she put the snow globe back on the shelf. Hanji turned to him. "So! What should we do next?" She said with a pep in her step.

   
 

"How about taking a fun ride on the baggage claim?" He joked. 

 

Hanji shot her hand up in the air in a victory pose and cheered. "Yeah!! Let's go!"

   
 

Erwin saw her hand accidentally touch the snow globe and his eyes widened in horror when he saw it wobbling towards the edge.

   
 

Before he could even say or do anything, a loud crash was heard. The two stared at the broken globe in stunned silence. There were pieces of glass everywhere and liquid was slowly pouring out.

 

"Shit. Run!" Hanji said while making a break for it.

   
 

Fortunately, Erwin was a step ahead of her and grabbed her wrist to keep her from going anywhere. "No Hanji, we are going to pay for it like civilized adults.

 

Hanji frowned. "I don't think you understand. The owner of this place does not like me and once he sees what happened, all hell will break loose."

   
 

He gave her a weird look. "What- I- you mean you're telling me that you've been here before?" He questioned her.

   
 

"Yes, and technically I'm not even allowed to be in here right now so let's go before he finds me!" She urged Erwin while tugging on his sleeve. 

   
 

"Did I hear glass breaking?" A man questioned while walking out from the back.

   
 

"Okay, run!" Erwin advised.

   
 

The two booked it out of there and didn't stop until they were well far away from the dreaded shop.

   
 

They both put their hands on their knees and had their backs hunched while panting heavily. Once they caught their breath, Hanji spoke.

 

"Well!" She put her hands on her hips. "That was fun!"

   
 

Erwin could not believe her right now.


	9. Cat fight!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how this chapter turned out the way it did. Try not to think to think too hard about because logic definitely didn't apply to this chapter lmao

Levi let out a relieved sigh. He somehow was able to calm down in the bathroom thanks to Eren. It also seems as if the mood had died down a bit when they came back to the lobby. Everyone seemed much calmer, probably because of their full stomachs. Even Mike came out to socialize with the group. 

 

Eren and Levi sat down at the large table filled with his friends. They pushed several small tables together so they’d all be seated with each other. Levi had to admit, it felt kinda nice to have such a large group together like this. He never knew the feeling of having so many friends.

 

“Okay, so brief rundown.” Eren whispered in his ear. Hearing his voice ring softly through his ear did catch Levi off guard, but he can’t say that it wasn’t welcomed. “You already met Jean, Sasha and Connie. The freckled boy that’s radiating pure light? That’s Marco. He’s precious. He can do no wrong. He’s like a-” Eren paused, trying to find the right word “a savior with freckles.”

 

“Freckled Jesus?” Levi questioned out loud.

 

“Hm, did someone say my name?” Marco perked up.

 

“Haha what! No, you’re just hearing things!” Eren waved him off.

 

Marco just shrugged and went back to his conversation with Jean and Connie.

 

“And that scary looking freckled girl with her arm around a blonde angel? Ymir and Historia. They’ve been together forever. I’m pretty sure they’re soul mates.” 

 

Huh. Okay. He can see that.

 

“What about that boulder over there and that guy who’s sweating like a waterfall?” Levi whispered.

 

Eren giggled right in Levi’s ears and wow, is it him or did that kind of sound..cute?? He shook his head. _This is fake, this is fake!_ He reminded himself.

 

“Reiner and Bertolt. Another inseparable pair. Oh, plus Annie. She acts like she doesn’t give a shit but..” Eren spoke even quieter, “she totally does give a shit.” He nodded firmly. “Oh!” Eren remembered, “She also has resting bitch face.” He added on.

 

Levi let out a laugh. “Ha, sounds like me.” He joked.

 

“Yeah! That and you two are both so short!” he smiled.

 

Levi kicked him under the table.

 

“Ow!” Eren grunted. “Why’d you do that?”

 

Levi gave him a bitter smile. “What? I’m just playing footsies with my sweetheart.” He tugged at Eren’s cheek and pulled hard.

 

Levi looked around and realized something was wrong. Eren said he had eleven friends but there’s only nine of them present.

 

“Hey,” Levi leaned in towards Eren, “Didn’t you say you had eleven people coming over? Where the last two?”

 

He saw dread enter Eren’s face immediately. “Oh, um, about that..” he drawled out, trying to find the right words. “Right, so, I have a sister? And, she kinda is over protective of me? She doesn’t mean to be!” Eren frantically waved his hands around. “It’s just, she means well but sometimes she can go overboard so I told my best friend Armin to distract her because he’s the only other person who knows about..this.” Eren gestured by pointing to himself and Levi. Eren let out a nervous chuckle. “But everything is fine now.” Levi didn’t know who Eren was trying to comfort.

 

“So yeah, no need to worry about them. I’m sure Armin has it all taken care of.”

 

“EREN!!!” Mikasa slammed the door open and her eyes were filled with a fiery rage. A worried and scared Armin followed right behind her.

 

Everyone turned to the entrance and watched as Mikasa angrily stomped her way towards Eren. Armin awkwardly bit his lip and looked to the side.

 

“Sorry Eren, I tried.” Armin muttered.

 

“Mikasa can this please wait until we’re home?” Eren begged.

 

She put her hands on her hips and lowered her face to Eren’s level. “No, it can’t. We’re doing this right here, right now.”

 

“Oo, meow!” Ymir pretended to claw the air. A few people giggled around her but were instantly silenced when Mikasa shot them a look.

 

“Mikasa!” Eren yelled. “I won’t let you embarrass me like this in front of everyone!” He stood up and got up in her face.

 

“Hey!” Jean rose from his seat. “No one treats my girl like that!”

 

Mikasa huffed in frustration. “Shut it, Jean!”

“Yes ma’am.” Jean piped down.

 

Mikasa returned her attention back to her brother. She crossed her arms. “So? What’s this I’m hearing about a boyfriend? And why was I not invited to…whatever this is?” She tapped her foot, waiting for Eren’s response.

 

“I, um, well..” Eren began, not knowing what to say.

 

“Well, obviously, he didn’t want to tell you immediately because he didn’t want you to freak out like you’re doing now.” Levi spoke for him.

Everyone in the room tensed up. They looked over to Mikasa to see what her response would be.

 

"Oh? And who are you supposed to be?" She cocked her head to the side in a sassy manner.

"I'm his fucking boyfriend, bitch." 

 

Gasps were heard.

 

Mikasa looked around the room as if she didn't just hear that. "Oh! Oh okay then, fine! If that's how you wanna play it Mr. Boyfriend, then why don't you tell me about how you two met?"

 

"Right here." Came Levi's swift reply.

 

"Ok, how long have you been dating?" She continued interrogating.

 

"Two and a half months." He answered again. 

 

"What's his favorite food?"

 

"Cheeseburgers.

 

"Favorite movie genre?"

 

"Romantic comedies and action."

 

"What's his major?" 

 

Shit. "Uhh, art?"

 

Mikasa made an X with her arms. "BZZ!! Wrong! He's currently undecided!”

“Oh big deal, I didn’t know one tiny detail about Eren. Doesn’t mean that we aren’t dating though.”

She turned to Eren. “And why have you kept this a secret for so long?”

Eren let out a nervous hum. “Uhh, I…”

Levi cut in again. “Why does he have to answer for you? You’re not his mom.”

Mikasa’s eyes squinted and she shot Levi dark glare. _Not bad_. Levi thought. She was actually good at posing a threat.

Of course, it wasn’t good enough for Levi.

He smirked. “You don’t scare me.” A few people gasped. “Go ahead, say whatever you want.”

Mikasa went serious and started to roll up her sleeves. “I think I’m done saying words now.”

Levi raised his eyebrows. _Now_ things are getting interesting. He calmly rose up from his seat and the two made their way outside.

“Oh, it’s about to go down!! Bert, grab your phone. We have to record this!” Reiner said while dragging Bertolt out the door. Annie followed suit.

The rest of the group began to go outside too. Eren looked around.

This was definitely not how things were supposed to go. He rushed outside and noticed how everyone formed a circle around Mikasa and Levi. The two were staring at each other while doing some warm up stretches. A few people were shooting their fists in the air chanting “world star”. 

Eren squeezed his way in through the circle and got between the two.

“STOP!” He yelled at the top of his lungs. Everyone ceased their cheers.

“I love violence more than the next guy here but, can’t we just go back inside and solve this in a civilized manner?!”

“It’s too late for that, Eren.” Mikasa said. “Besides, I like to believe that my actions speak louder than my words.”

“Your snarky sister is right Eren.” Levi agreed. “I, too, prefer to settle things with my fists.”

Eren barked out a laugh. “So why do you always scold me for getting into fights Mikasa?”

“It’s different for you!” she weakly argued. “You..you..tend to be..well-”

“You suck at fighting!” Jean finished for her.

“You wanna say that again, horse face?!” Eren put his fists up.

“Eren, no!” Mikasa stopped him. “You just don’t know when to stop and that always ends you up with a black eye! Now get out of the way, I know what I’m doing here.”

“But-”

“Step out of the way, scum.” Ymir joined the circle and moved Eren out. She stood in between Levi and Mikasa. “Alright! I want a clean game here! No biting, no face hits. First one to be down for three second loses! Also, just a reminder but you can place your money on who’s going to win to Sasha and Historia. Sasha will be collecting for Mikasa and Historia for Levi. Got it? Okay.” She shot her hand up in the air. “Ready? Fight!”

Ymir moved out of the way and Mikasa and Levi began to move closer to each other. Both were studying each other’s movements, not wanting to attack immediately. Eren looked around, everyone was invested into the fight. No one but him wanted to break up this fight.

Eren noticed Mike and sighed out of relief. “Mike! Please, you have to stop this!”

“Hm?” he turned around. Eren frowned as he noticed what he was doing. “Are you seriously placing bets right now?” he asked, seeing Mike give Historia some cash.

“I’ve seen Levi fight. I’d be fool not to bet on him.”

That only worried Eren more. He liked both Mikasa and Levi. He didn’t want either of them getting hurt.

“Ha!” Jean butted in. “You obviously never seen Mikasa fight. She’s amazing. I’d let her kick my ass any day.” Jean bragged for her while placing twenty bucks onto Sasha’s hand.

The crowd began cheering all of a sudden and Eren desperately tried to see what just happened. He tried jumping to get a better view and forced himself towards the front to catch a glimpse.

He made his way through and immediately witnessed Mikasa trying to kick Levi down to the ground. Levi effortlessly dodged her kick. Mikasa came at him again, trying to punch his ribs. She was able to graze her knuckles past him but other than that she barely did a blow on him.

“You almost got me there, not bad.” He complimented her.

She looked pleasantly surprised and wiped her forehead. “Heh, you’re not too bad yourself. How’d you do that thing with your leg?”

Levi assumed a more relaxed position. “It’s simple really. I can teach you some moves if you want?” he offered her.

Mikasa stopped. “Really?”

“Yeah, you seem like a fit opponent.”

“I always wanted to improve, but I couldn’t find any places that were up to my level.”

“I learned from the streets, kid. The best place to learn defense.”

“Yo what the fuck, is this supposed to be a fight or a damn tea party?” Ymir yelled out.

Mikasa and Levi looked at each other before turning to Ymir.

“Nah, I don’t feel like fighting him anymore.” Mikasa said.

“Same here.” Levi chimed in.

The group let out a couple of disappointed sighs and groans. A few of his friends even complained about wanting their money back.

Eren felt relived, so relieved. He didn’t know what he was going to do if they kept on fighting.

“Great! Now, let’s all go inside and not try to kill each other? Sound good? Alright!” Eren turned to walk inside, not allowing a chance for anybody to protest.

“Hold on Eren.” Mikasa said. “I kind of want Levi to teach me that kick real quick.”

“Hey, no fair! I want fighting lessons too!” Connie exclaimed.

A few others chimed in, also wanting to learn a few moves from Levi.

Levi looked over to Eren, who had no idea how to react at the current situation. Levi shrugged. He’d rather teach young children how to fight rather than converse with them.

“Okay, gather around brats. I’m going to show you the basics of fighting and how to defend yourself. I’m going to need a partner for this.”

Everyone’s eyes landed on Eren. He pointed to himself in confusion. “Me?” 

Levi sighed. “You’ll do Eren.” 

Eren awkwardly stood next to Levi. He paid no attention to Eren however. “Ok Eren, come at me. Throw me your hardest punch.”

He looked alarmed at Levi’s sudden request. “What? No!” 

Levi crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. “Oh please. Stop acting like you can actually deal some damage on me. I’ll be fine. Come on, hit me.”

“Well, okay..” Eren said with an unsure tone. He took a deep breath and swung his arm back. He extended it outward, aiming for Levi’s face. Eren closed his eyes, not wanting to see what the outcome was going to be.

Instead of feeling the impact of his fist landing on a face, he felt his fist being blocked by Levi’s right hand. He opened one eye to take a peek and saw straight faced Levi.

“Okay, there are couple things wrong with Eren’s technique just now. Anyone know a few?”

Everyone’s hands immediately flew up in the air.

“Oh ok, like you guys could do better.” Eren barked out. Everyone’s a critic, aren’t they?

“His stance was off.” Annie mentioned.

“He closed his eyes!” Connie yelled.

“He’s a fucking doofus!” 

Eren shot a glare at the crowd. “Shut up, horse face!” 

“Right. So, obviously, Eren had multiple problems with his punch. First and foremost, his stance. With the way it is right now, there are so many openings for me to attack him.”

Levi grabbed Eren and positioned him so he was in the correct position. “See? With him standing like this, it’s much harder for me to get a direct hit at him.”

A few of the teens nodded vigorously, extremely focused and interested in Levi’s teachings.  

  

Connie raised his hand. “Can you teach us how to slam dunk a motherfucker?”

Levi had an evil smile and looked over to Eren. “Why, certainly, polite young kid who’s shorter than me. My lovely assistant will help me show you the proper way to..slam dunk someone.”

Eren groaned loudly. How did it come to this?.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Mikasa and idk why I made her a feisty bitch ready to party but I fuckin did. Also I suck A S S at writing "fighting" scenes so...sorry for making you read that mess lol. But also..THANK YOU for reading this mess :)


	10. The End of Erwin and Hanji's Adventures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Umm so...idk if this chapter is going to be a problem. Let me just begin by saying it's all a joke and fake and all for fun..I don't think anyone is going to be seriously offended by this chapter but just in case. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this one!

 Erwin and Hanji were standing by Nile's gate, waiting for him to walk out so they could finally put  their plan into initiation. Erwin sighed. He was almost done, he told himself. Just a little bit longer.   
   
"Hey! I think I see him!" Hanji exclaimed. "NILE! NILE OVER HERE!!" She sounded loud and clear and waved her arms around like one of those inflatable things at the car dealership.   
   
Nile immediately noticed them and pretended as if he didn't know who they were. Fortunately, Hanji was never one to pay attention to social cues so she ran up to him and greeted him with hard slap to the back.   
   
"Nile my boy! Long time no see! How's the wife?"   
   
Nile ducked his head down, embarrassed of all the attention Hanji was drawing to them. Erwin strolled up to the two. "Good evening Nile. Pleasure to see you again."   
   
He squinted at him. "Ah Erwin. Still as formal as ever I see."   
   
"So! Where to? I was thinking maybe the cafe, movies, strip club, the mall-"   
   
"Strip club?" Nile questioned   
   
Hanji had a smug grin and wiggles her eyebrows at him. "Ohhh, Nile you sly dog you! THE STRIP CLUB IT IS THEN! WOOOO GET YOUR DOLLAR BILLS, BOYS. WE'RE GOING TO BE PARTYING WITH STRIPPERS!!"  She shot her arms in the air and hollered like a police siren.  
   
Nile hunched his back and desperately tried to hide his face behind his hand. He looked over to Erwin and saw him standing there, completely unfazed.   
   
"How are you _not_ embarrassed right now?" He whispered harshly towards Erwin.   
   
"After spending a whole day with Hanji at the airport, this is nothing. I've become used to her shenanigans." He boasted while she danced provocatively in the background.   
   
Erwin turned around to call to her. "Hanji! Stop giving that poor man a lap dance and let's go!"   
   
She paused her gyrating and looked over at Erwin. "Huh? Ok, coming!" She turned to the random man she was dancing with. "I gotta go, have your people call my people and we'll work something out!"  
   
"I don't even know you!" He yelled back.   
   
"Alrighty then! Let's get going." Hanji bounced with joy.   
   
"We're not going to a strip club." Nile berated.   
   
"Nile's right." Erwin chimed in. "A club seems rather intense. How about we all have a nice little catch up at a coffee shop?"   
   
Hanji sighed. "You two are boring.."   
   
Nile groaned. "No, we're not going to get coffee either. We're going nowhere! I need to check up on Levi to see how the store is." 

 

Erwin and Hanji shot each other nervous looks.   
   
Erwin chuckled. "Come on now, have a little faith in your employee. Stay with us for a bit. It's been months since we last seen each other."   
   
Nile eyed Erwin. "Why are you being so nice to me?"   
   
"I'm only being polite." He countered back quickly.   
   
Hanji noticed Erwin's silent struggle and jumped in to save him. "Yeah come on! It'll be fun. I have so many stories about my experiments to tell you!"   
Nile shoved the two overbearing friends away like they were pesky flies. “No! I appreciate your sudden hospitality but today I just want to check up on my store and then go home.”  
Erwin leaned in towards Hanji so Nile wouldn’t hear them. “The plan is failing, fall back to plan B.”  
She furrowed her eyebrows and concern showed on her face-a rare feat for Hanji. “Are you sure?”  
Erwin gave her a smug grin. “Wow, I never thought I’d live the day to see you looking so uneasy.”  
She smiled back at him. “You’re one crazy son of a bitch, Erwin.”  
He smiled. That was the greatest compliment anyone could give him. “I know.”

She took a deep breath then made her way next to Nile. “Feeling hungry?”

He continued walking and kept his gaze focused straight ahead, trying not to give Hanji any attention. “A bit. I’ll get a snack or something.”

“Oh really? Bummer. I know this BOMB-ass place we could all go to!”

Nile’s head immediately shot up and he turned to her, showing the most panicked and alarmed face she had ever seen. It was hard for her not to laugh.

“ _Hanji,_ you can’t say that here!”

She feigned innocence and tapped her chin in a confused manner. “Hm? Why not? It’s a great place to grab some grub! I mean, the flavors just EXPLODE on your taste buds!”

Nile tussled his hair with both of his hands in frustration. “Oh my god. I don’t know you. I’m leaving.” He picked up his pace and tried to distance himself from the mad woman.

Hanji turned back to Erwin and gave him a secret thumbs up. He nodded in approval.

Much to Nile’s dismay, Hanji made her way back to him. “Come on Nile, don’t you want to just BLOW THIS JOINT?”

“ _Why_ in god’s name are you only screaming words and phrases that can get us into serious trouble?”

“I don’t seem to understand what you’re talking about.” She said in the most clueless voice she could muster.

“YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT BOMBS AND EXPLOSIONS!” he yelled at her. His patience has worn thin three hours ago. The last thing he needed was two persistent bozos on his case.

Not even a second later, two men in blue button ups accompanied Nile’s sides. They each grabbed his shoulders and dragged him away to the side. “Sir, you’ve been randomly selected for a bag check.”

“Wha-” he looked at the two men, baffled. “No, this is all a big misunderstanding!” In a panic, he whipped his head around looking for two specific people. His eyes widened when he found them. “It’s them!” he pointed to Hanji and Erwin. “They’re the ones that are acting suspicious!”

The two uniformed men simultaneously looked over to where Nile was pointing. Erwin and Hanji were in each other’s arms, laughing.

“Honeybun?” Erwin began

“Why, yes snookums?”

“Do you want to get some food?” he asked in a sickening sweet voice. 

Hanji let out the girliest giggle ever-something the real Hanji would never do. She doesn’t giggle, she _cackles_. 

She bopped his nose lightly. “Of course dear!” The two continued their charade, laughing and creating a fake atmosphere of couple’s love around them.

The TSA men turned back to Nile. “That’s just a nice couple, you leave them out of this.”

His jaw dropped in disbelief and he began to throw a tantrum, yelling that he deserves to talk to the guy in charge.

When Nile was out of the way, the “couple” dropped their act.

“Holy shit..I can’t believe that worked.” Hanji said in awe.

“I can.” Erwin had a superior tone in his voice. 

A moment passed before one of them spoke again.

“So..did we succeed?” Hanji asked before partaking in her celebratory dance.

Erwin opened his mouth to say yes, they did succeed but an angry cry in the distance caught their attention.

“THERE SHE IS!” a man yelled while distinctly pointing to Hanji. There was a TSA guard at his side. “She’s the woman who ruined my shop! And that man is her accomplice!” he said, pointing at Erwin as well.

Hanji sucked in some air through her teeth. “Oooh, we should probably run right now.”

Erwin followed her lead and the two tried to make a break for it. Unfortunately, it was them against the entire staff of the airport security. It wasn’t long until the two were both tackled to the floor. 

They were escorted away with their arms behind their backs. Everyone looked at them as if Erwin and Hanji were two hardened criminals.

“One day.” Erwin began “I spend one day with you and I end up going to jail.”

She laughed. “Pshh. Jail? Give me a break! They’re just going to keep us in for questioning and let us go. Maybe make us pay the fine for that thing we broke. Certainly no jail though.”

Erwin sighed, Hanji missed his point completely. “Right. And how long are we going to be kept here?” he asked.

“Probably a few hours and- ohh…” she stopped when she had her epiphany. “We were supposed to stop Nile..”

He groaned. “Yes. The one job we had and we couldn’t manage to accomplish it. I should’ve made more sacrifices..” he said in regret under his breath.

As a group of security guards were leading Erwin and Hanji to a private office, a free and smug Nile walked right past them. He laughed loudly while giving both of them the finger and not breaking eye contact with the two of them.

Hanji squinted at him in irritation and Erwin furrowed his eyebrows, upset at their failed mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the whole airport threat jokes didn't go too far..I personally don't think it did but ya..
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	11. Love by the dumpster

“All right, everyone keep practicing with their partner. I’m going to take a break.” Levi informed everyone.

He didn’t know how it came to this but he ended up giving fighting lessons to all of Eren’s friends. Now they’re all inside the restaurant practicing sparring moves with each other. 

“Keep an eye on them while I’m outside.” Levi told Mike. “You never know what little shits are up to nowadays.”

Mike nodded to that. “I’ll keep an eye out.”

Levi exited through the back door. On his way out he heard Mike yelling about a “no using forks as a weapon rule”.

Levi leaned against the brick wall. The sky was pitch black now and the air was cold and crisp. He basked in the fresh air. 

Then he coughed and remembered that the dumpsters weren’t too far from him right now.

He gazed up at the sky. Looking at the stars brought his mind to Eren somehow. There was something about him. Levi hated his presence but now…he doesn’t seem to mind it as much.

“Taking a break in the teacher’s lounge?” Eren came in, breaking Levi’s moment to himself.

Speak of the devil, he thought. “I’d be the most unfit teacher ever.” He countered back.

“I don’t know, you look pretty fit to me.” He said with a cheeky grin.

“Little shit.” Levi said endearingly. 

Eren laughed at the nickname. He wore a serious expression before continuing. “Thank you Levi. I don’t know how I can ever make it up to you.” Eren held his hands behind his back and awkwardly shifted back and forth between his toes and the heels of his feet.

Levi seemed amused by Eren’s bashful behavior. Wanting to see him even more nervous, Levi said “Don’t mention it. It’s what boyfriends do.” He teased.

As expected, a small tint of red entered Eren’s cheek. He became all sorts of a fumbled mess and turned his attention to his feet. Levi grinned at him. It was so entertaining to turn him into a fool. Well, a bigger a fool than he already is, Levi added.

Eren slowly raised his gaze from the floor and inched his way to Levi. “Then, I guess you wouldn’t mind if your boyfriend did this..”

Before he could even question what he meant by that, Levi felt Eren grab a hold of his chin, angling it upward. He bent down and placed a soft, gentle kiss on Levi’s lips. 

When he pulled away and didn’t hear Levi protest, Eren took it as a silent cue to continue. This time he furthered the kiss, making sure his lips linger on Levi’s longer than the first time. The space naturally closed in between them. Eren cupped Levi’s cheeks in the palm of his hand. His actions were so soft and almost ghost like. He held Levi as if he were a fragile object that could break if he wasn’t careful.

Levi forced himself to not think about the current situation they were in, choosing to get lost into Eren’s warmth instead. He chose to think about how safe and content he felt in Eren’s arms. How sweet it felt to kiss those pink lips. Eren pulled apart, still a centimeter away from Levi, and stared deep into his eyes. He didn’t say a word. Just- stared. He stared so much that Levi started to turn his eyes away, feeling a bit uncomfortable by his intense gaze.

“God, you’re beautiful.” He said barely above a whisper.

Levi looked back at Eren. He really wasn’t kidding. His eyes never looked so serious and passionate at the same time. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration and Levi noticed how Eren subconsciously licked his lips again.

“I think I’m the one supposed to be saying that..” Levi murmured. He didn’t feel worthy of the pedestal Eren was putting him on. 

Eren pulled Levi into his arms, nuzzling his nose on the top of his head. Levi seemed surprised at the sudden embrace at first, but quickly fell into place. He wrapped his arms around Eren, allowing himself to become vulnerable for this one  moment. He felt so warm in Eren’s arms. So warm that he was able to get the chills. Chills from how right this felt. Levi found himself a spot he would never want to leave.

Their moment of silent bliss ended when the two of them heard some faint yelling from inside the diner.

They both looked at each other in confusion.

“Uh, do you hear that?” Eren asked, making sure it wasn’t just him.

Levi sighed. “Yeah. I guess Mike couldn’t handle them all by himself. We should probably go back and help the poor guy.”

Eren let out a long whine, obviously letting the world know that he’d rather stay outside with Levi. Of course, Levi wanted that too but he began to feel a bit for Mike. It was eleven against one, he was bound to be overwhelmed by now. 

Grabbing Eren’s hand within his own, Levi made it back inside the diner, ready to tell all of Eren’s friends to quit giving Mike hell.

Instead, Levi was found with a much worse sight. There he was, Nile, his _boss_ in the middle of the room, yelling in confusion. 

“I had enough fucking shit at the airport and now I come to my own restaurant only to find some sort of..fight club going on in here?!” 

“It’s not so hard once I explain.” Mike spoke up. 

“No!” Nile argued. “Where’s Levi? I need to speak to him, _now_.”

Levi unlaced his hands with Eren and walked up to Nile. “Lay off Mike, Nile. Poor guy didn’t even do anything.” 

Finally having someone to blame, Nile fumed at Levi. “Levi, what the hell is all of this?” he gestured to him. “The tables are all pushed to the side, there’s an entire buffet of food, and a group of young children are fighting each other in the middle of the room!” 

“Actually, we’re college students.” Armin chimed in. 

Nile shot a look towards Armin and the rest of the group. Jean slapped the blonde’s mouth over with his hand and let out a nervous laugh. “Haha! Right you are, Armin! Come on everyone, study group at my place!” Jean said, desperately wanting to get out of the uncomfortable situation that had unfolded in front of them. Everyone caught onto his drift and gladly complied. They all hustled out of there in a tightly packed group. 

“See ya Eren! Nice party!” he heard one of them yell on their way out. Eren wanted to punch them in the face. 

The word “party” seemed to trigger a response out of Nile.

“I’m sorry, did I just hear him say _party_?”

“Party seems a bit outrageous, it was more of a small get together.” Eren butted in, trying to save Levi from a long lecture.

“I’m sorry, who are you again?” Nile asked, completely over Eren’s explanation.

He seemed genuinely surprised when Nile announced that he didn’t know who he was. “Um, Eren? The guy who comes in here every night?” He said, hoping for a light bulb to go off in Nile’s head.

It didn’t.

“I always order the same thing? You even told me that I was one of your most valued customers! Was-was that a lie?” he asked, slowly putting his hand over his fragile heart.

Levi snorted. “Nile’s two faced as fuck.” He whispered not so quietly into Eren’s ear.

Nile was about to erupt and spew all sorts of insults out but opted for just letting out a long, tired sigh. He pulled out a vacant chair and sat down, burying his head in his hands. Eren and Levi stared at him, then shared slightly concerned looks with each other.

“Fuck, you’re lucky I’m too tired to give a shit right now.” He claimed. “That and the fact that you’re one of the few decent employees that’s left here.” He groaned some more. “Just..clean this place up before you go. I’m going to go home and take a shower with some adderall and whiskey.” He got up and dragged his feet towards the door. He turned around one last time before leaving. “Don’t think I won’t forget about this, you’re going to have a lot of overtime the next few weeks.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Levi waved goodbye to him. Once he was out the door, he turned to Eren. “It’s not as if I weren’t wasting my life at this shithole already.”

Eren giggled, which inadvertently brought a smile out of Levi. “You have such a way with words.” Eren fake-swooned.

 

"Shut up." He retorted. He took a good look around the place and sighed. "You should get going too, It's going to take a while for me to finish cleaning this place up." 

 

"I'll stay and help." 

   
 

"You don't have to-" 

   
 

"No it's fine, it's the least I can do after causing this much trouble." Eren insisted.

   
 

Levi eyed him just to make sure if Eren was on board for this. "Okay..fair warning however, I'm very strict when it comes to cleaning. I'm going to be very harsh when I see your technique."

   
 

"Fine by me.” He shrugged. How bad could it be?

 ***  

“Eren!” Levi called out.

 

“Yeah?” Eren walked out to the front where Levi was.

 

He had one hand on his hip and the other gesturing towards the counter top. “Tell me what’s wrong here.”

 

Eren stared at it, unsure on what he’s supposed to be seeing exactly. “Uhh, a clean counter?” he questioned.

 

Levi scoffed. He grabbed a rag and wiped the top, showing Eren the small layer of dust that appeared on the white cloth. “See this? There’s still dirt and dust on here. Do it again.” 

 

Eren clicked his tongue while walking over to redo his work.

 

“Don’t give me that kind of sass.” Levi warned. 

 

Eren barked out a laugh. “The King of Sass is telling me not to be sassy? Okay..” 

 

“Listen you little shit..” 

 

“Yeah?” Eren asked. His face showed that he was clearly enjoying this banter.

 

“D-do you want to do something after this?” Levi asked, throwing the both of them off guard with his question.

 

Not expecting the total 180 turn on Levi’s behavior, Eren was taken aback. He quickly answered when he had realized that he had been silent for too long. “Y-yeah!!” he blurted out. “I’d love to..” he said a bit calmer this time. 

   
 

Levi automatically smiled. "Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I always cringe when I try to write "love" scenes. Which is ironic since that's the whole reason I write fics...to get Eren and Levi to fall in love. BUT I FEEL SO CHEESY WHENEVER I WRITE ABOUT IT...Loll :') 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it!


	12. Elementary school confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is...Levi being indecisive af. I guess.

With Eren's help, Levi closed up the restaurant and the two went outside. Eren waddled his way next to Levi, looking very stiff and uncomfortable. 

"What's wrong? Need to take a shit?" Levi did tell him to go to the bathroom before they left.

"No, just gathering the courage to do something." Eren said with shut eyes.

"Well then just fucking do it already." Why Levi doesn't have an award in motivational speaking is beyond him. 

"Okay." Eren put his arm around Levi and pulled him near. He opened his eyes once he realized that Levi didn't chop his arm. "Hey! That wasn't too hard." Feeling more comfortable, his grip loosened and his muscles became less tense. "Feels nice." He noted. 

Levi blushed. What were they? Boyfriends? Is it too soon to give it a label? 

Before he could discuss it further in his head, Levi's phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled away from Eren to grab it. It was Erwin.

"Erwin, what the fuck." He greeted. "What part of "stall Nile" did you not get?" 

"Don't. Even. Start." Levi heard Erwin's tired voice through the phone. "I did you a favor, now you help me." 

"What is it?" He asked. 

"Hanji and I need a ride home." He simply stated. 

"We need you to bail us out of here!!" Hanji screeched on the other side. 

Levi pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it. He brought it back. "I'm sorry, did Hanji say you two needed bailing?" 

"I did you a favor with no questions asked, I suggest you do the same." Erwin did have a point there. 

Levi huffed. "Fine. I'm on way." He hung up and turned to Eren. 

"I uh, sorta need to bail my friends out of jail or some shit. Sorry, I was actually looking forward to hanging out with you but-" 

"Wait, you're saying I can't go?" Eren cut him off. 

"I don't want to drag you around and-"

"Are you _kidding_ me? This is way better than anything else I could think of! Let's go bail your homies out!" 

Levi rolled his eyes. Eren sure was easy to please. 

***

“So,” Eren began “Hanji is a crazy woman with even crazier smarts and Erwin is-what did you say- _a lovable, conniving fuck?_ ” 

“Basically.” Levi answered. “There’s something wrong with them for sure. Biggest giveaway being that they’re friends with me.” 

Eren laughed. “Then I must be extremely fucked up.” 

Levi stayed silent, deciding to focus on the road instead. 

“Sorry.” Eren said when Levi didn't say anything. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I just-” 

“Do you really like me?” Levi suddenly said. 

“Wha- of course I do!” Eren claimed like it was the most obvious thing in the world-which made Levi feel even more confused. 

“Why?” was all he said.

“Why?” Eren parroted back. “Well..there’s lots of reasons. You’re funny, I feel nice when I’m around you- like really nice. You’re also really good looking.”

Levi almost didn’t catch that last part with how quickly Eren was talking at the end. He still heard it though.

“You spent one evening pretending to be my boyfriend and now you actually like me?” Levi asked, refusing to just accept the fact that Eren genuinely liked Levi.

Eren laughed. “One evening? This whole time I thought I was being painfully obvious…” 

Levi moved his eyes away from the road to give him a quick glance. Eren was staring at his lap, fingers toying with the hems of his fabric. He wore a shy smile on his face. The sight was adorable and it took a tremendous amount of effort for Levi to tear his eyes away from Eren and back at the road. He wanted to kiss Eren so badly. What was up with these intrusive thoughts lately? 

 

“I thought you knew the entire time.” Eren said, interrupting Levi’s thoughts. “I mean, who comes inside a diner every single day ordering the same exact thing?”

“You came in…to see me?” Levi sounded as if Eren blew his entire mind. 

“Well, not at first but after the first two weeks..you were the main reason I visited all the time.” 

Levi wore a blank stare. He couldn’t wrap his head around it. 

“I should be touched and all, but why the _fuck_ did you always come in around closing time? Do you know how infuriating that shit was?”

“Ahh..haha..” Eren nervously laughed. “Right. That probably was annoying. Coming in late guaranteed less customers, so I could have all your attention directed to me.” 

“Fucking..” Levi said, frustrated. “That’s not annoying or anything.” Levi said sarcastically. 

“Sorry..”

“What’s more annoying is how cute I found that is.” Levi said. 

“Really?” he heard Eren perk up. 

"Yeah.." Shit, what was this guy doing to him? Levi would never feel so giddy and smiley like he is now. 

"Well um, do you- do you like me?" Eren spoke quieter with each word, afraid of hearing Levi's answer. 

Levi mused about it for a second. Unlike Eren, he wasn't really conscious about having a crush on him this entire time. Hell, for the longest time Levi would associate "Eren" with "annoying". 

Still, even he couldn't deny the feelings that had recently surfaced. 

"I think I do..." he pondered aloud. 

" _Think?_ " Eren questioned with an accusing tone. 

"Shit, no." Levi retracted his words. "I didn't mean it like that. I never thought about you in a romantic way until you kissed me." He explained. 

"Oh." Eren had a crestfallen look on his face and his voice became small and weak. 

"I-" Levi began, gathering the grit to just spit it out. "I..like you too." He hated how elementary this all sounded. Did they really need to put everything out into words?

Levi snuck a peek at the boy and regretted nothing when he saw how happy his words made Eren. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I...hope...you.....
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoyed it!! Kudos and comments are really appreciated. Especially comments! I love reading them and hearing what you think. :)


	13. Lover boyss~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unlucky 13...perfect number to end this "fic" on. Tbh this fic was only supposed to be 2K...4K at the most. NOT 16K!! I mean I guess this is still a one shot then. One day, I want to try writing a 20K or even 40K fic. MAYBE EVEN 100K!!! 
> 
> Anyways..I hope you enjoy the last chapter!

Levi was surprised with how little work he needed to do to find Erwin and Hanji. He and Eren walked in asking about their whereabouts. When the employee asked to specify further, Levi responded by giving them basic info. 

"Tall, built, blonde man. Can give off vibes ranging from _The Purge_ to _Christian Grey_. Oh, he's also with a tall, glasses wearing woman. Very loud and disruptive." 

Levi remembered seeing how pale the employee's face went when he described the pair. He think he even heard him mumble something along the lines of _"Oh no, not them."_ under his breath.

Finally being escorted to what looked like some sort of holding cell, Levi and Eren found the two troublemakers. After signing some papers and talking to a member with an authoritative ranking, Erwin and Hanji were released. Hanji oh-so-maturely stuck her middle finger out in the air for everyone to see.

"Thank you Levi." Erwin mentioned. "Though, I'm not sure why I'm thanking you. If it weren't for you I wouldn't even be at that airport. Meaning, I probably wouldn't have been captured and needed-" 

"You're welcome, Erwin." Levi interjected, ignoring Erwin's out loud spiral. 

"So Levi, are you going to introduce this cutie to us or will I have to do it?" Hanji pointed Eren out, who was silently walking by Levi's side.

Taking his cue, Eren spoke up. "I'm Eren. Levi's-" he paused for a second and glanced at Levi. Judging from their car ride, Eren knew that Levi wasn't too keen on being open with his personal relationships, so he decided to keep it simple for now. "-friend." He sounded disappointed saying the word. How baldy he wanted to put the word "boy" in front of it.

Even so, the two whipped their heads at Eren when the word "friend" came out of his mouth.

"It's rare for Levi to have friends other than us." Erwin noted. "And a close one too at that. The fact that Levi was able to handle an hour long drive with you on the way here..."

"The nonstop philosopher is Erwin and I'm Hanji." She introduced themselves to Eren. 

Letting out a shy laugh, Eren shook Hanji and Erwin's hands. "I know. Levi mentioned the two of you before. It's nice to meet you." 

"They say that first impressions are everything and let me just inform you that Levi bailing me out of a holding cell is not a regular day activity for me." Erwin lightly joked. 

"Heh, speak for yourself." Hanji said. Eren wasn't sure if she was joking as well or if she really did have to be bailed out of jail several times before this. Eren chose to believe the latter. 

Levi clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes. He took a hold of Eren's hand, surprising everyone. "Eren's also my boyfriend and shit so yeah..surprise." He had a grumpy look on his face but the red blush gave away the fact that he was feeling embarrassed. 

If Hanji and Erwin weren't riled up before, they sure were now. Hanji's mouth went agape and Erwin stared at the two, wide eyed.

"Boyfriend?" Erwin asked, not trusting what his ears heard. 

"Yes!" Levi exclaimed rather annoyed. "You two are acting as if it's impossible for me to be in a relationship." 

"That's because it is!" Hanji cried out in frustration. "Do you know how many blind dates I set up for you?" She turned to Eren. "I always try to hook Levi up with people and he always turns them down! He's so picky." She smiled. "It looks like he has good taste though." She complimented Eren. 

"Thank you." Eren shyly accepted her compliment. 

The entire time they spent making they're way back, Levi's hand never left Eren's (nor his smile).

***

Levi let out a gigantic yawn while rubbing his eyes. He turned off his car and sat in the seat for a minute. The sky was still dark, but soon enough, the morning light would shed it way in. 

Once again, Levi envied those who are asleep right now. That's what he should be doing to at the early hour of 5 AM, but Nile wasn't kidding when he mentioned that overtime thing.

Levi supposes that he _should_ be grateful that all Nile did was add extra shifts on top of Levi and not fire him. 

Still, getting up at the ass crack of dawn for the past two weeks was never fun. Especially when he's been working all the way from opening shift to closing shift. It was fucking _tiring_.

He sucked it up and forced himself to get out of his car, ready to start another soul sucking day.

Shuffling his hand in his pocket, Levi reached for the store keys and absent-mindedly unlocked the back door.

When he found all of the lights turned on already, Levi figured it was Mike who came in early.

Needless to say, when he saw Eren standing there in the middle of the kitchen, he was rather surprised.

"Oh!" Eren said, taking notice of Levi's presence. "Shit, I knew I was forgetting something. I was going to text you not to come in today but uh..I guess I forgot. What with all the getting ready and all. And the fact that I don't even have your number." He rambled. 

This was an abundance of information for the early hours of the morning. "Slow down. Why are you even here?" He asked Eren.

He wore a shy expression. "W-well, I noticed that you've been rather...dead, these past few weeks and it hurt me seeing you so overworked like that. So I talked to Nile and convinced him to let me cover half of your shifts, so you won't have to work as much." He explained bashfully. "Nile wasn't up for it at first but he quickly changed his mind when I said I'd do it for free." 

Levi stood there, staring at the pure boy in front of him. He noticed Levi silently struggling with the burdens of a shit-time job and took matters into his own hands. All for him. Levi wasn't used to having someone care this much for him. It was a strange feeling but not unwelcomed. He smiled at Eren. 

"You little brat..." he said tenderly with eyes full of love and appreciation.

Eren's features softened as he inched his way closer to Levi. Levi immediately took control of the situation and grabbed Eren's face. He stood up on his tip toes-which caused a (not so) secret snicker out of Eren- and kissed Eren. 

Levi smiled leaning into the kiss. He still couldn't get enough of him. Every time he was with Eren, he wanted to sink into his arms and stay lost forever. Eren broke away from his lips and scattered little kisses all over the corners of Levi's mouth and jaw. Each smooch leaving buckets of love and appreciation all over Levi's face. It became too much and Levi began to giggle.

"Oh my god you are too cute." Eren said before leaving a dozen more kisses. 

"Stop! That tickles!" Levi cried in between giggles. He tried to push himself away from Eren-even though he really didn't want to. Eren could tickle him like this any day.

"Ughhh." Eren groaned. "Do you think anyone would notice if we just ditch the store and leave?" 

"Yeah but who cares." Levi mumbled into Eren's shirt.

Eren held Levi for a few more seconds. Parting from him was like parting from your bed in the morning. 

"Okay, no." He forced himself off. "I really need to set up the store." Eren began to walk around the kitchen. 

Levi laughed watching him slightly struggle. "Do you even know how to cook?" 

"I worked at a pizza place once, how hard could it be?" was Eren's response. 

Fair enough, Levi shrugged. "You sure you don't want any help from an experienced employee?" He asked, still unsure if Eren had it completely covered.

"Yes, I'm sure." Eren said while lightly shoving Levi out of the kitchen. "Go sit out in the lobby and wait for me. I'll make you some eggs and bacon on the house." 

Well hey, Levi wasn't expecting a day off or free breakfast made by the biggest cutie but he wasn't complaining. Not at all. 

A few moments later and Eren came out with a hot plate. He set it down in front of Levi. 

"Here you go sir." Eren pretended to be a snobby waiter at a high class restaurant. "What we have here is some scrambled eggs with a side of crispy bacons. Ignore any white shells you see." 

Levi rolled his eyes and took a bite. Eren eagerly watched his every move, waiting to hear the verdict on his mediocre cooking. 

"It's not bad." Levi began. "But it's no Gordan Ramsay level of cooking." 

Eren laughed. "Why do I feel like that's the highest form of a compliment I'll get from you?" 

"Because it's probably true." He half joked. 

Eren didn't respond. He had his elbows propped up on the table and his head rested in the palms of his hands. He wore a goofy grin on his face with love struck eyes. 

"What?" Levi asked with a wary smile. 

"Nothing. Just thinking how I wouldn't mind making you breakfast like this for the rest of my mornings." He said in a dreamy tone. 

Levi almost choked hearing that cheesy line pour out of Eren's mouth so naturally. He glared at Eren as hard as he could. Of course, it was hard for Eren to take Levi seriously. There was a huge, adorable blush across his face after all. 

Truth was, Levi wouldn't mind that either. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it! It wasn't the most exciting adventure but I like to think that it had its moments. I like this fic. I hope you did too! If you did, kudos and comments are welcomed! Reading comments make my entire week, I swear! 
> 
> Thank you for reading this far and I hope to make more ereri fics in the future. (I'll try my best to improve and write longer fics!)


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